I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
