D3 body, D1 cock
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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