it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
