She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
