Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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