the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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