Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
