A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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