I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
