Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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