There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
