tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
