There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
