just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
