Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
dude. I can hear the air.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
