what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
