We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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