i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize