How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
