Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
