coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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