Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
