We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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