i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
