She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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