Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
