My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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