every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
