Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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