Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
