Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
