i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
can u get pink eye on your cock?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
