Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize