it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize