just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
