Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize