its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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