True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
