y did u give ur computer a hand job?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
