So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
