if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
