I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
