I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
