WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize