Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
