Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
