You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
