could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
