A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
