dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
