You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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