I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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