let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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