It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
