She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You were trust falling into bushes
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
