Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
where are you?
Hypothermia
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
