I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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