Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
