JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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