Ambien. No doubt about it.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
