how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
