his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
