I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
