Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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