I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just saw a hot homeless man
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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